Let’s Talk About Losing 145 Pounds!!!

Meet Andrew.


Yep, that’s him. That’s his before and after picture. Andrew has lost 145 pounds. No, you didn’t read that wrong. Andrew has lost 145 lbs !!! Or as one of my clients said when I told her about Andrew’s incredible body transformation. “It’s like he lost a whole human.”
Andrew is not a client of mine. I repeat, he is not a client of mine. He is just someone I know through my wife’s work. I train a group of ladies twice per week where my wife works (UCG in Gaithersburg, MD), and I had seen Andrew working out in the same facility where I train the UCG group.
First thing I noticed about Andrew is that he is a big dude. He’s not eff-ay-tee, he’s just a big dude. He’s 6’3’ and weighs in at 215 lbs, and that’s 215lbs of muscle! I am 5’11’, and 185 lbs, so he really looks big to me.

Andrew works out hard. He does weights, cardio conditioning, and is involved in UFC type training. Ok, he’s somewhat of a beast. What impresses me about Andrew the most is his weight loss. Because anyone can workout intensely, but if the diet’s not right, weight loss will be tough. I am so impressed with his weight loss that I asked him if I can interview him so I can share his story with anyone who reads my blog, and he obliged.

Andrew, what’s the most you ever weighed? “360lbs. I never weighed myself after that. I don’t think I went any higher.”

How old are you? “I am 31.”

How much weight have you lost? “145 lbs” WOW!!!

How were you built/shaped as a kid? “I wasn’t thin, but I wasn’t fat either. I was just a big kid. I would say I was thick.”

You played sports growing up? “Yep. I played basketball, wrestling, football, and soccer. Soccer was my favorite. I was really good at soccer, up until 7th grade, and then the kids started to outrun me because I got too big. So in high school I started playing football. I played tackle on both sides of the ball, and I wrestled in high school too.”

How much did you weigh in high school? “As a freshman I already weighed 275. I would say I was overweight, but I carried it well because I was an athlete. And I was always self-conscious about my weight. There was a big joke in my family because I was always breaking chairs. I broke so many plastic lawn chairs.” Thanks for the honesty Andrew.

How big were your friends compared to you? “My friends were always small guys. My best friend on the wrestling team weighed 115 lbs.” That’s funny.

Did you get teased about your weight? “I got teased and picked on. I even got into altercations. People tried to bully me so they could say they beat up the big guy. But me and my friends were usually pretty good in these altercations.”

Then you played football in college for JMU? “Yes, I played guard in college. I was a walk on. I played at around 325 lbs, and I was clocking about a 5.2 sec 40 yard dash. And I was the slowest lineman, for sure.” As a Hector side note. Most people have absolutely no idea how fast a college lineman, or an NFL lineman is. Those dudes are heavy, but they can haul ass! Literally.

How long did you play? “Sophomore year they found two tumors in my lower back, each the size of my fist, I had back surgery, and never played after that. And after that is when I went up to 360 lbs.”

So, Andrew, I have always had the belief that if someone doesn’t have a very strong reason, something they can hang on to, to lose weight, chances are they won’t lose weight. What was your reason to lose weight? “I was a very good athlete, but I knew my college football career ended abruptly, and I always regretted that. I always had that itch to compete, and I knew I wasn’t finished, and that led me to MMA (mixed martial arts). So I started to get in shape for MMA. Also, I wanted to be healthier, because being overweight is just uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be overweight anymore. It’s depressing. I had enough of being big all my life. It was either now or never.”

So how long ago did you start losing weight? “It’s been about a five-year process all together. I started going to the gym, and a big change for me was I started drinking only water. That was one of the first things I did.” Anyone who has trained with me, or asked my advice about weight loss knows that I strongly recommend to “drink water only”. If you’re trying to lose weight, put down the liquid calories. Andrew continued with the drinking water only topic. “Because for someone who weighs 360, to drink a can of soda is so easy. It’s not satisfying. I used to drink Gatorade, which is horrible. Once I switched to water only, just that alone was enough for me to start dropping weight.”

How much/many liquid calories were you drinking before your switch to water only? “Do you remember the Gatorade that used to come in the gallon jug? I would drink one of those a day when I was training  for football. Instead of drinking water, I was drinking Gatorade. I was basically replacing the calories I was burning. And I would probably drink a soda or two a day too. I wasn’t a beer drinker, but I did drink vodka. I think the college lifestyle played a part in my liquid calorie consumption.”

How was your diet when you were overweight? “In college I didn’t eat a lot of fast foods (fast food establishments), but I did eat subs and pasta, and way over-proportioned. A lot of cafeteria food. Burgers, fries, pizza, and cookies. Stuff like that. I would say I was easily consuming 4,000 to 5,000 calories a day.”

How many calories do you consume a day now, and how much do you weigh? “About 1,800 to 2,200 calories per day. And I weigh about 215, with about 11% body fat.”

How often do you workout? “I train about twice a day. I don’t think people need to do that to lose weight. That’s just what I do.”

What’s your goal weight? “I’m at the point now where I don’t look at the scale much. It’s more about how I look. I want to tighten up my core and stuff.”

What does your diet consist of? “I eat very similar every day. I wake up and have a protein shake. I eat a lot of egg whites. I use egg whites as snacks. I meal prep about 95% of my meals.”

So, 95% of the food you eat, you know exactly what you’re eating? Is that safe to say? “Yes. For sure. And If I do eat at a restaurant, it’s something like spinach and grilled fish, and I tell them specifically how to cook it.”

Do you eat fruit? “Yes, I eat fruit.”

Do you count carbs or calories? “I do more portion control than anything else. And I try to balance my macronutrients. I eat fruits and vegetables, and for my meats I do lean fish, lean turkey, and lean chicken. I eat a lot of vegetables. That’s about it.”

What has been the most difficult part of your diet? “I would say the meal prep. It takes a lot of planning and work. I dedicate much of my Sundays to cooking pretty much all my meals for the week, because I don’t have time during the week.” Below is his actual meal prep.


So the meal prep is the time management part, how about the psychological aspect of the diet? “I think at first, it was a mental thing to learn to be hungry, but then when you start seeing the results, things fall into place. The hardest part was probably the first few weeks, but now I really don’t get that hungry. And sometimes, because I’m so busy, I have to remind myself to eat to keep the metabolism going.”

How about your self-esteem? How do you feel now compared to when you were overweight? “Believe it or not, I still have a fat-man complex (He shouldn’t, because he’s not overweight anymore and looks great), and I find myself sitting very gently in chairs sometimes. I’m still afraid I’m going to break a chair. But to have women approach me now when I’m out with friends, which never really happened before, is pretty cool (ladies, he’s single, tall, with muscles, educated, and employed!!). And physically I feel good when I run. And I tell you what else has changed. My back bothers me way less now. It may act up, but it has been night and day getting that weight off. It was the best cure ever for my back.”

Is there anything you would do when you plateaued during your weight loss journey to keep you going? “Yes. I remember that sometimes I would get frustrated because I had only lost 40 lbs and I had so much more to go. So I would pick up two 20 pound dumbbells and do stuff with them. Like walk up steps, or get on the treadmill, to remind myself of how much extra weight I was walking around with. It was a good visualization for me, to remember how far I had come. And for me, a lot of my weight gain was in the stomach area, so it would put direct pressure on my lower back.” Andrew continued “I just feel like a brand new person. Especially with shopping for clothes. I can shop in the regular section now. So like this shirt I am wearing, it’s just a regular Polo large. My biggest shirt ever was a 6X. That was a big and tall 6X.”

Do you allow yourself cheat meals? “Yes, I will have a cheat meal, like a burger or something. But I think a cheat day is too much. You have to be very careful because it can easily get out of control. And if I do have a really bad day, and eat poorly, I just get over it and get back on track.”

If you had someone sitting in front of you who wants to lose weight, and they have been through a lot, maybe physically and psychologically, what advice would you give them? “I would first and foremost say, start with just drinking water. I’m adamant about that. If they have been overweight their whole lives I would advise them to forgive themselves and get over it, find a reason to lose weight, and just take it day by day. Don’t look at the whole thing (weight loss goals), just take it meal by meal. Every workout, every meal, you’re progressing. Just take it a day at time.”


That’s a great motto. What’s a motto? I don’t know. What’s a motto with you.


Thanks Andrew. You have officially gone from FEAST MODE, to BEAST MODE!!

How Much Exercise Do You Need?

How much and how often you should exercise depends on your goals. Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to get stronger? Are you training for endurance, like a marathon (if you are, you so crazy)? All of the previous goals require different routines, intensity levels, and frequency.

I have read and heard various theories on the amount of exercise one needs to maintain a decent level of fitness. I was recently asked by a client if taking 10,000 steps a day is a good goal? I couldn’t answer because I had no idea how far 10,000 steps is for the average person. So I Googled “10,000 steps”, and I was shocked.

10,000 steps is approximately 5 miles! That is f-a-a-r. At a 3 mile per hour pace, you would have to walk for one hour and forty minutes straight, without a break, to walk 5 miles. If you accumulated 10,000 steps a day, six days a week, you would be walking 30 miles per week, and approximately 120 miles a month. 120 multiplied by 125 calories per mile burned would be 15,000 calories a month used as fuel from walking. That’s almost 5 pounds of fat burned, in one month!!! Ok, did you feel that free-fall descent back to earth? Wheeeeee!! That was the realization that very few people walk 5 miles per day, erry-day.


I used to tell people that they needed to accumulate 5 hours of exercise/movement per week. Boy, I tell you, I was being kind. Because if 10,000 steps a day is the going rate to stay fit, I was undershooting with my advice, big time. If you are one of those rare folks, rare like a flawless diamond and not like a steak, who walks 5 miles a day, you are a beast!!!!! Being called a beast in the exercise world is a good thing. So I guess you can call my wife and I “Beauty and The Beast”. (I had to write that one).

Now to be fair about calling myself a beast, I doubt that I walk 5 miles a day. I am sure that on days I exercise (cardio+weights) and work, I might get in 10,000 steps, but that’s a stretch.


Let me share with you what I can do: I can dead-lift 315 lbs about 3 times. I can do anywhere from 12 to 15 full range of motion pullups without kipping. I can do about 5 to 8 pullups with 20 lbs attached to my body. I can overhead press (barbell) 105 lbs about 3 times without my legs helping (so it’s not a push-press). I don’t bench press anymore.  I can do a boxing class without having a heart attack. I can run pretty fast, and jump decently high. That’s me touching a 10 ft high basketball rim, but that was like a year and a half ago. I might have to try that again.


Peep the Vans I’m wearing.

Please keep in mind that I am 42 years old, 5’11”, weigh 185 lbs, and do not use steroids. I was much stronger in my 20’s, without steroids of course. (I have nothing against roids, it’s just not my thing.)

The previous braggadocious paragraph does serve a purpose other than narcissism. It is to show you that I practice what I preach, because no one should hire an out of shape trainer, and that I maintain those fitness/strength levels with about 5 hours per week of not so easy exercise. I lift weights 3 times per week for an hour per session, and do a one hour boxing class twice per week (most of the time). That’s it!! The rest is diet. FYI, six-pack abs are created in the kitchen, and not in the gym. Sorry.

More on food.

Nutrition is the foundation of how you perform when you workout. The crappier your food, the crappier your workout. Your nutrition is also the main factor that will determine how you look, known as body composition, and how much of your hard work in the gym will show on the outside. The cleaner your diet, and the more you eat according to your desired weight, the more “tone” your body will reveal. Tone=reduced body fat levels. We often say “he or she has good muscle tone”, but what we are really saying is that he or she has body fat levels low enough to show muscle definition. Here’s the ultimate heart breaker. You can workout all you want, do millions of situps, lift weights, and walk everywhere, but if you have a crappy diet, you know what I’m talking about, pizza, burgers, fries, and beer, three to four days per week, chances are you won’t have much muscle tone. Trust me, I see these types at the gym I workout at, everyday. And please don’t forget your New Year’s Resolution, it’s only February. By the way, am I the only one that finds it kind of odd that the day many of us get plastered is the day we swear we’re going to make a positive change? It reminds me of a Hemingway quote: “Always do sober what you say you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut”.

Ok, gotta go. I will keep you posted on my attempt at touching a 10ft high basketball rim later in the spring. The older I get, the higher the rim appears, and the heavier weights feel.




The Kitchen Tones

First, I would like to give a big thumbs up to all military veterans. Happy Veterans Day. And now for your regularly scheduled program. The kitchen tones.

No, not these kitchen tones.


Or these.


When I say “the kitchen tones”, that is exactly what I mean. You can lift weights, do cardio, Zumba your nalgas off, and do any other exercise you wish to do in order to “tone” your body, but if you don’t adhere to a clean diet, and you eat too many calories for your desired weight, chances are, you will not tone. Tone is created in the kitchen. That is why I say “the kitchen tones”.

Tone is muscle definition, and muscle definition is created by lowering body fat levels. In order to lower body fat levels we must lose fat (duh). Body fat is lost/lowered by moving more, eating healthier, and in most cases, eating less. I know, I know, some athletes like Michael Phelps eat 10,000 calories a day and still remain lean. But guess what? Unless you plan to swim for hours a day, almost every day, I suggest you stay away from the 10,000 calorie a day diet. Oops, my bad. I just Googled it, and because everything on the internet is true, I have to show you what I found about Phelps’ diet.


And he still looks like this!!! What tha? Que la? (That’s “what tha” in Spanish). That’s not fair! But as my wife likes to remind me, no one said life would be fair. Right?


If you are already working out hard with weights a few times per week, doing some intense cardio, and you have not seen any improvement in muscle tone, analyze your diet. That may be what is holding you back.

Let me explain it this way. Let’s say someone has good muscle definition. Their arms and legs are tone, and they even have visible abs. If that person increased their calorie intake by 500 to 1,000 calories a day, and their exercise routine remained the same, they would begin to gain fat and eventually lose muscle definition. They wouldn’t lose their muscles or strength, just their definition/tone. Translation: An increase in calories would lead to an increase in body fat levels.

If you are trying to tone your cuerpo, make sure you’re working out with weights at least three times per week, doing some intense cardio, and tightening ship on the diet side. The tone will arrive. But don’t look now, the ultimate de-toner is right around the corner, Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays. Better double up on the cardio and not dessert.




Popular Fitness Questions Answered, Again

What’s the best exercise you can do to lose weight? How about “whatever activity you enjoy doing is best”. What good would it do if I said “sprinting up a 100 yard hill ten times, while wearing a weighted vest, will help you burn calories, build muscle, and tone your whole body” if you hate sprinting? Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it, over, and over, and over, again. And then do it one more time. Worst case scenario, walk a mile a day, and in a year you will have walked 365 miles and burned off 45,000 calories, minimum.


What’s the best food to consume to help you lose weight? How about, don’t consume too much food. Sounds like a bit of a rude answer, but it’s kind of true. If I say that brown rice, oatmeal, seafood, and fruits are healthy, but you eat too much of these foods, then you might gain weight. Monitor your calories and the quality of them, to lose weight.


What does toning mean? In the workout world toning means that you lose enough fat to see your muscles. That’s it! That is the only way to tone. We all have muscles. The main difference between us all, when talking about being tone, is the percentage of body fat around those muscles. Low body fat levels = tone body, for men and women alike.

What can you do to elongate your muscles? Technically, nothing. Sorry about that my yoga participants. You only elongate your muscles as you grow taller. Once you’re done growing, your muscles will not elongate anymore. They can be stretched and strengthened, but that is as far as the elongation of muscles goes.

Will lifting weights make you bulky? This is a popular question I get from women. For starters, gaining muscle is very, very, difficult. Ladies, just think of how many buff and tone men you know? Not many. Time to brag. I can dead-lift 315 pounds 3 times, and 225 pounds ten times, and I have never been described as bulky. Simply put ladies, you won’t get bulky lifting weight unless you train with that intent. I have never met a woman who trains that way. The main way we all can get bulky is by eating bulks of food.

women should lift



Here’s another popular complaint I get. “I hate exercise! What can I do to like it”? This is the bad news of the day. Your body’s demand and requirement, to move, to help it stay strong and function optimally, will never go away. Humans were made to move. Why do you think you have so many muscles? To reach for the remote control, or just walk to the fridge? Nope, your designed for movement. There’s even a scientific field for this called bio-mechanics. I was going to go into that field, but then I decided I better focus on helping people eat less and move more instead, and there’s no degree for that. Just kidding.


And the last time I checked, you only get one body. I am not asking you to be a workout nut like myself. Or as my wife said Monday, when I told her I did dead-lifts at the gym and then went for an hour bike ride in the heat, “You’re a weirdo”. I am not asking you to be a weirdo. I know you have a life. But just like you get tune-ups for your car, go ahead and give your body a tune-up by walking or jogging, lifting some weights, and eating clean and in the right amounts. Trust me, your body will thank you for it. Your constipation might even go away. Yes, exercise helps constipation.





How to Tone Your Midsection

I workout with weights about 3 times per week at a local gym. It is a very nice gym. It offers Spin classes, yoga classes, personal training, and there’s plenty of free weights to go around. I mostly use the free weights and cable machines for my workouts.


There are also plenty of ab machines which I never use. And there is even an area for abs that has mats and physio-balls for people to torture their midsections. I use that area to stretch and if I’m feeling up for it, I might do some abs, mostly lower abs. I do abs maybe twice a month, if that. I get plenty of ab work, indirectly from my weight training, especially my squats from dead-lifts.

Often I will see gym members, men and woman, doing endless sets of ab work. I get to the gym, they’re doing abs. I lift weights, they’re doing abs. I stretch, their doing abs. Abs, abs, abs, week after week, month after month.


And guess who has the flatter stomach, and I am sure more visible abs, me or the endless ab doers? Yep, you guessed correct. I have a flatter stomach than most ab-crunch addicts, and I rarely do abs. Why is that? (Because I am not feeling narcissistic enough today, I will not post a shirtless picture of myself. If you’re a bored skeptic, go through my posts and I am sure there’s a pic or two of me displaying my flat belly.) Is flat belly an oxymoron?

The reason I have a flat stomach, without doing much ab work, is because my body fat levels are low enough for my stomach to be flat and my ab muscles to show. That is it! If I continued working out exactly as much as I do now, but started drinking beer and eating pizza, burgers, and fries, nightly, I would gain belly fat, and my stomach would not be so flat anymore. If I ate too many calories for a long enough period, my muscle definition would eventually disappear. A belly with fat around it is not a result of not doing ab exercises. It is a result of too many calories consumed over an extended period of time.

Think about slim teenagers or adolescents with flat stomachs. They don’t do a ton of ab work if any. But their stomachs are flat because their body fat levels are low.


You want a flatter stomach? Cut down on the calories, and use your ab time to lift weights or do some cardio.

Ab exercises do strengthen your abs, if done correctly, and lower back in some instances.

Still confused? How about this? If an overweight man lifts weights and gets strong, but doesn’t reduce his calorie intake, his muscles may never be visible (get toned), despite the fact that he is getting stronger. If he continues to lifts weights and cuts back on his calories for a long enough period, his muscles eventually will show.


Oh one last thing. You know that claim that Pilates and yoga will lengthen and tone your muscles? Allow me to elaborate. If by tone they mean muscle definition, the only thing that tones muscles is reduction in body fat levels. And as far as lengthening muscles (I’m laughing so hard at this one that I am actually doing abs as I type) this is impossible. Muscles are attached to very specific points in your body. You can stretch your muscles, but you cannot alter where they are attached. The only time you lengthen your muscles is when you grow physically from toddler to adolescent, to teenager, and then to adult because your muscles do actually lengthen when you are lengthening in height. Once you’re an adult, you cannot change your muscle length anymore than you can change your height. Well, ladies who wear those big ass high heels can change their height, but only until their feet get tired, and then they shrink like by four inches. Ladies, your high heels come at a cost too.






Should You Eat Less Or Move More?

If you could only do one, eat less or exercise, which one would you pick for weight loss? Your answer should be to eat less.


Remember, you cannot out walk, jog, run, sprint, or out weight-lift a bad diet. But you can counter inactivity with eating less. Of course, moving more and eating less is the optimal way to lose weight. But if you had to choose only one, eating less is the way to go.

The following is for all you 30 and over folks. You know when you get together with a group of friends over food and drink and the subject of weight loss comes up and someone inevitably says “Wasn’t it so much easier in your teens and twenties to stay thin?” as they devour their sixth chicken wing slathered in creamy high calorie sauce. Well was it really easier to stay thin in your youth? Things are changing.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 18% of 6-11 year olds in the U.S. are obese, not overweight, but obese. And 18.4% of 12-19 year olds are obese, again, not overweight, but obese. So what happened to our theory that when someone is younger it is so much easier to keep the weight off?  What is happening to 1/5 of our youth that they can’t keep the weight off? The following is my opinion. I don’t think it’s that our youth can’t keep the weight off as much as that as the years pass, they eat more and more and gain weight.

When you look back and remember a thinner you, you are probably remembering someone who ate less food, drank less sugar, and was more active. You were also in the process of gaining weight and didn’t really notice it because weight gain is gradual. No one wakes up one day and is like “Holy shit, I gained 50 pounds overnight!” It might feel like you gain weight overnight, but you don’t.

69% of people 20 and over in the U.S. are overweight. That’s almost 7 out of 10! And no matter how you slice that pie, our nation is gaining weight in all demographics. Little by little, the good old days of younger people being thin are disappearing. Why? Because as Americans, we eat more and more everyday. But because people aren’t very accurate/honest when it comes to food consumption, it is difficult to calculate how much more we are eating as a society now. Some estimates have the calorie increase as low as 500 per day now day in the 1970’s, and other estimates have us consuming as much as 1,000 additional calories per person, per day, now than in 1970. Who knows what the truth is, but what we do know is that collectively we do eat more.

And boy do we love sugar. Check out the following.


And this is how you burn it off.


Notice that in order to burn off those extra calories there was no mention of sitting in front of a TV, your tablet, or your Intelligent Phone. You gotta move! And Tweeting, texting, sexting (if you’re into that), Face Booking, and playing Call of Duty is not exercise. Walking the mall is not exercise either. That is life, and so is walking the dog and washing your car.

This one just blew my mind. Since I am not a sugar drinker myself, it really blew my mind. Like WTF!!!!!!!


Really America! We are consuming almost 40 pounds of added sugar from sugar drinks per year, per person. Que La Chingada! That’s WTF in Spanish. If you are trying to lose weight and want to lose weight, p-u-t t-h-e s-u-g-a-r d-r-i-n-k-s d-o-w-n. If you’re thin, not diabetic or pre-diabetic, then you can probably enjoy your Coke with a smile.

And for those of you who are thinking “Sugar drinks are fine, they won’t affect my health”, think again. Check this out.


Yep, sugar drinks mess with your health too. And if you are always drinking carbonated sugar drinks and your stomach is so jacked up that you’re always reaching for antacids, give those sugar drinks and your intestinal track a break.

So there you have it my Weight Loss Nation. If you want to lose weight you should focus on your eating habits and definitely replace sugar drinks with water. If you’re having a hard time putting the sugar drinks down, ask yourself the following question “What is more important, my health and weight loss or drinking sugar?” Your answer to that question will let you know how serious you are about your weight loss. And how serious you are about your weight loss will determine how much weight you lose.

And don’t let anyone convince you that because you like or enjoy something, like sugar, you are addicted to it. Man up, or woman up, and just admit that you like sugar so much that at times your rather have a soda than drink water. Once you have it in your head that you are the one that makes that soda drinking choice, and not some uncontrollable sugar hungry demon in your soul, it will be easier to let that sugar urge go. Be accountable for your health. You are in control of your body.

Two last things. Ladies, if you eat and drink like a man, you will weigh what a man weighs. And, I was talking to a woman once, I think she is in her forties. She has two kids and has always maintained a healthy weight. I asked her what she did to stay trim? She said “If I start to gain weight, I cut back on my food.” BRILLIANT!! No apps or fancy electric bracelets needed. She just cuts back on food.


To Lose Weight, Drink This

The best weight loss supplement is…drum roll por favor…WATER! Sorry, you were probably waiting, or even hoping, for me to tell you about the newest herb found in the mountains of Peru, or deep in the Amazon, that you take with your food and presto, weight gone. Nope, that doesn’t exist, no matter what health magazines and Dr. Oz tell you.

In reality, water is not a supplement, it’s a necessity. Last I checked, humans need water to survive. But in our current times, we can hydrate many ways. Soda, fruit juice, Gatorade, Vitamin water, flavored waters, Iced Tea, and other junk juices can also keep us hydrated. But the problems with junk juices is that many are loaded with calories.

Proposed California Recycling Law Would Increase Bottle DepositsWeight loss nation, I advise you to remember the following. Sugar beverage companies DO NOT care about your health. They do not care about your weight gain. They do care about their weight gain though, their pocket’s weight gain that is.

Stack Of Cash

The same goes for children trying to lose weight. They should drink water only. Don’t believe these money hungry beverage companies when they tell you that your children need electrolytes in their fluorescent blue drinks because they might dehydrate during physical activities. Please, sports drink companies trying to get our children’s attention, don’t make me laugh. It takes a whole lot of exercise to dehydrate, and for our muscles to cramp, because of dehydration. I am 41 years old and have been exercising, working out, and playing outdoors since I was…well…always, and I have only had muscle cramps, real muscle cramps, twice in my life. Once in the Marines, when we did a Battalion run, and that’s exactly what it sounds like it is, the whole Battalion goes for a long ass early morning run, and on an EMPTY STOMACH! And last summer I cramped up because after a night of “adult drinks”, I decided to get up with the sun the next day, on an empty stomach, and ride my bike for about 18 miles in the Florida, July heat. And as you can tell, I survived to tell about it. photo(30)

Above, that is my shadow being cast by the morning sun down by Clear Water beach in Florida. On that bridge is where my legs cramped. Ok, enough about me, and back to  you and drinking water.

When I say drink water only it means DRINK WATER ONLY. It means drink water with your lunch, dinner, snacks, when you’re thirsty, at the movies, at the State Fair, at the mall, in your house, in front of the TV, at work, and anywhere else you may find yourself with thirst.(Milk is allowed with breakfast because water and cereal sucks, and so does waffles and water).

Here is more on DRINK WATER ONLY. I have had friends, family, and friends of friends (the transitive property does not apply to friendship. A friend of a friend does not  necessarily equal your friend. They are just someone you met. Hence, they are only friends of friends) swear to me that all they drink is water, as they sip on a beer or some other adult beverage at a social function. QLC! QLC stands for Que La Chingada. It is like the Spanish version of WTF!

People! adult people! alcohol is also included in what not to drink if you are trying to lose weight. If you tell me you drink only water, that does not mean that Monday through Friday afternoon you drink only water, and then Friday afternoon through Sunday night you drink alcohol like a beer thirsty soldier who just got back from serving six months on foreign soil.


Why drink water only? Because you eliminate a bunch of excess calories from your diet, that’s why. And excess calories equals weight gain for most and many. Some math can be complicated, but calorie math is quite simple and not fuzzy. If you consume calories and you don’t burn them off, your body will store them for future use. The messed up part is that these excess calories are stored as fat, and not gold or diamonds. I know, it’s not fair, but who said life would be.

Oh, before I forget. Those 5 dollar Frappa-shit load of calories-chinos are one of the worst ways to start off your day if you are trying to lose weight. Sure, some of them only have about 160 calories, which still isn’t good because you would have to walk over a mile to burn that off. But some pack close to 500 calories, and that’s not including the innocent looking 300 calorie pastry you might also have with your Frappa-calorie-chino. Now your total is about 800 calories. To burn off 800 calories, you would have to walk about 7 miles. And it would take you over 2 hours, at a 3mph pace, to walk 7 miles. Long story short, just drink water.

BUT, if you MUST, here are some other options. I can’t believe I am going to write the following. You can have artificially sweetened juices or even sports drinks, but make sure they have 10 calories or less. Better yet, let’s make it zero calories. Let me make it clear, I prefer you drink water, but I understand some of you can’t bear the thought of drinking an odorless, healthy, calorie-less liquid, so I gave you options. (If you have digestive issues like burping last nights food this morning, constant burping, farts, stomach bloat, and other stomach discomfort, ditch the carbonation and chemicals in your favorite soda beverage and drink water. Your stomach will thank you for it).  Check out the following ingredients in Coke.


According to flatulencecures.com (yes, that is a real website), “short of drinking STRAIGHT VINEGAR, Cola is the most acidic thing you can buy to drink”. It goes on to talk about how ingredients in some sodas jack your stomach up. So if you are a soda drinker, diet or not, and you are constantly reaching for the Zantac, Prilosec, and other antacids, because you feel full, belch, and pass gas more than is normal, you might want to give up soda for a while. On a side note, I had no idea soda was so acidic until I read about it today. From this day on, no more soda with my tequila, just straight tequila…Yahooo…TGIF! (Tequila Gives Instant Friends)

Here's to Friday