If you live in the Silver Spring Maryland area, and you are trying to lose weight, today might just be your lucky day.
Here’s the deal. For the New Year, I will be taking on one new client for FREE. Don’t bother rubbing your eyes. It is not a type-Oh no! You read that right. You will get me, in shape year round Hector Vargas, six pack abs Hector Vargas (Ok that was a bit much), Weight Loss Coach extraordinaire, owner of VIA Wellness, for free. I will help you lose weight. My methods work, if you work at it. But there’s a catch, or should I say, “some rules” to my FREE training.
The rules above are pretty cool and funny, but those are not the rules I am talking about. Here are the rules: To qualify for my FREE weight loss training and teachings you must be at least 40 pounds overweight. You must be willing, I will take care of the able, to train with me 2 times per week, move 3 additional hours per week on your own, and you have to want it! So far so good, right? Well, there’s more. There’s always more.
I have learned the hard way that when people get things for free, even something as valuable as my training, they don’t always appreciate what they are being given. So, whoever wins my free services will write me a postdated check for ALL the personal training sessions we complete. We will also both agree on some weight loss goals to be accomplished by March 20, 2014, the first day of Spring. If these doable weight loss goals are not achieved when March 20th rolls around, I cash the check or checks for ALL of our training sessions. If you do complete your goals, you keep your money and buy a new wardrobe.
Here’s how you qualify to win my weight loss training package. First, you must write me a well written email, essay, letter, whatever you want to call it, and explain to me why you deserve to win the VIA Wellness Weight Loss Training Package. You must also tell me what you are willing to do to accomplish your weight loss goals, what has held you back before that will not hold you back now, and any other reasons you have for me picking you and training you for free. And the last part is: you must write in detail “What is your number #1 reason for wanting to lose weight?” (Let me give you a hint on this last part. The reason should be about you and no one else. Because in the long run, it is mostly you who benefits from a healthier you.) Once you are confident with your writing, email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
And when I do pick you, because your essay is so powerful it moves me to tears and to help you, there will be one last qualifying step. We will meet in person, and you will read what you wrote to me. This will allow me to hear your sincerity, and I will be able to detect if you truly want to lose weight. But the real reason I will want to meet you in person is so that I can look you in the eyes when I ask you “Do you really want to lose weight?”. If you don’t break eye contact and respond “Yes” or better yet “Hell fucken yes!”, I will know you are serious. The eyes rarely lie. Why do you think it’s so hard to look someone in the eyes, especially if you care about them, and lie?
I don’t care how old or young you are, if you are man or woman, gay or straight, legal or illegal, black or white, or anywhere in between, I will help you. As long as you want to lose weight as bad as Michael Jordan and Ray Lewis wanted to win championships, you qualify in my eyes. But remember, I TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, so you should too. If I choose you, our journey will commence January 6, 2014. What are you waiting for? Get to writing. The winner will be announced January 1st.