Attention All Men! Ladies, You Can Read Too.

I promise that my next post will be about weight loss, exercise, or food. But today, I must share something with you, especially the men, that made me say WTF when I first learned about it about a week ago. WTF does not stand for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Gentlemen, I present to you Booty Pop. These are women’s stuffed panties that make their badunkadunks go POP! Or how Snoop would say “Pizzop”.

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WTF!

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Because I always kid people, I thought my wife, my friend, and his wife were kidding me over dinner, as they enriched my life with their knowledge of BOOTY POP. I thought they were all in on the same joke, and I was the mark. But a smart phone quickly confirmed that Booty Pop is very much true. Hell, just a few months ago I learned about Spanks, and now this. What’s next, bras that make a woman’s boobs look bigger than they really are? Well, they have those too. And no technology is too advanced for the “Patented Ventilated Bra Pad”.

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Ok, so now that the booty is popping, the boobs are bigger, but not really, and as my wife says “the jiggles are kept from jiggling” with Spanks, what’s next, fake eyelashes to make a woman’s stare more seductive? Damn! They got those too.

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Don’t tell me they have products to make women’s hair longer. Yep, they got that too.

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Gentlemen, this is getting muy loco! What’s next, a product that alters a woman’s height and posture causing her boobs and booty to pop even more? Oh yeah, they got that too. High heels. (High heels cause hyper-extension of the spine and flexion of the knees, among other posture effects, causing the booty to protrude).

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Damn whats next, a product to change the color of a woman’s eyes? Yep, they got that too. And apparently, in many colors.

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Now don’t tell me they have a product to make a woman’s skin look healthy with a perfect tan? Of course they have that.

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Man, I hope the following scenario doesn’t happen to a young man: A young twenty-something year old male goes to a friend’s wedding in the Spring. The weather is perfect. He is there for two reasons, to support his friend, and to pick up on a single twenty-something year old hot woman. The drinks start flowing and he spots her, and her him. Because they both have beer and liquor goggles on, they both like what they see. The attraction between these two young adults is all physical, as most attraction between drunk people is. Because he’s been drinking, his usual shyness is long gone, and now he’s funny and charming. The young woman’s attraction for him grows and grows. It’s getting late, and everyone at the wedding reception is either drunk or tired, or both. His liquid courage allows him to ask her to go on a moonlit walk down by the private lake. They will be the only two souls there.

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At the edge of the water, they walk and hold hands under a full moon. The scenery and feeling are perfect, like in the movies. He turns to her and kisses her. He tastes rum punch and gum, and she tastes whiskey. They unwillingly detach from their kiss. They both need oxygen. She gazes into his inebriated eyes, and him into hers, which were brown that morning, but currently light blue. Because she’s drunk, and the setting is romantically perfect, and some women are suckers for that type of thing, she almost says “I think I love you”, but instead she says “Let’s go skinny dipping”. He says “hell yes!”. Clothing goes flying in all directions and they jump in the lake. No monkey business takes place, (get your head out of the gutter), but they do tongue wrestle a few times. They decide it’s getting chilly, and proceed to exit the lake and walk towards their clothes. Because he’s a man, drunk, curious, and a bit horny, he lets her get out of the water first so he could check her out under the moonlight, and he can’t believe his eyes when he sees her in her birthday suit. SURPRISE!

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“There must be piranhas or alligators in the lake!” he thinks because her butt is gone, her boobs are too, she’s missing a few finger nails, one eyelash is missing and the other one is half hanging on, chunks of her hair are floating in the water, it looks like her skin is melting because the spray tan effects are wearing off, and she’s about 4 inches shorter now. No longer is her booty poppin. Because his mom raised him right, and he has manners even when tipsy, he doesn’t say anything and helps her get dressed. The End.

Ok fellas, I have warned you about the deception that is out there. But don’t blame the ladies, blame society which puts out images of perceived perfection of celebrity women, and pressures the everyday, hard-working woman to emulate them. Just look at Eva Langoria below.

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Or Kim “booty poppin” Kardashian.

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High heels also make her booty pop, more than it would naturally. And no one can convince me her tan is real.

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Look how far in front of her butt and waist her head is. That isn’t correct posture. Image A is proper posture. Image C shows the posture effects of high heels. Booty and boobs get to poppin.

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If women wear high heels long enough, their feet might evolve to look like this.

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Ok men, the women have spoken and they have said the following; “We, the independent ladies of the 21st century will stop accessorizing, with much effort, under one condition. All men must stop using their little blue and yellow performance pills and show us what they really are about, without pharmaceuticals.” Damn ladies! You drive a hard bargain.

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Advice For Parents of Young Athletes

Hello everyone. Happy Friday. I would like to thank you for your kind words and support regarding my blog posts. My “One For The Marines” post was very popular, and the feedback was all positive.

I just finished reading “The Sports Gene” by David Epstein. The book deals with the nature vs. nurture issue when it comes to creating athletes, and superior athletes. Are great athletes born or created? I am very satisfied with my decision to read the book. It is well researched and well written, with plenty of great information.

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I will use some of what I read in the book to address young athletes. Parents, do you want to know if your son or daughter will grow up to be fleet of foot? If you do, the eye test will give you a good idea. When little Johnny or little Sally runs around in practice and sprints against his/her peers, who is the fastest, or close to the fastest? If your son or daughter is fast now, chances are, they will be fast teenagers and fast adults. In a nutshell, humans that can run fast are born that way. And that is part genetic, regardless of race. It basically revolves around the muscle composition of the legs. If your legs have more fast twitch muscle fibers than slow twitch muscle fibers, you have a higher propensity to run fast.

So the thought process of some parents of children that are not the fastest, or even the 10th fastest on their team of twenty, may go like this sometimes: I will just train my daughter or son to become faster. I will even pay one of those “High Performance Training Academies” to make my kid faster. Parents, before you spend your hard-earned ducats, read the following quote from Justin Durandt. He is manager of Discovery High Performance Centre at the Sports Science Institute of South Africa. He is in the business of testing for speed, as he scours the country for fast youngsters. “A sixteen year old boy who came from a rural area and NEVER had a day of professional training in his life” was the fastest runner he ever tested. The 16-year-old boy ran forty meters in 4.68 seconds. “That doesn’t sound very fast” you may be thinking. Until you translate it to a 40 yard dash. Then it’s about a 4.2 seconds, on par with the fastest NFL players ever. Hold on parents of aspiring athletes, it gets better. Durandt goes on to say “We’ve tested over ten thousand boys, and I’ve never seen a boy who was slow become fast”. Please do not shoot the messenger. And I promise parents, I will have good news for you about your child’s athletic future, even if he’s not the quickest now.

Ok, parents, you have to be honest with yourself on this one. Is your child consistently the fastest or second fastest when he sprints against his peers in practice? If he or she is, consider yourself lucky, and thank some ancestor of yours who could run fast for passing on that “fast running” capability to your offspring. It’s one of evolutions gifts.

For parents with the not so fast child, yes, speed can be improved, but a kid who is fast, will always benefit more from speed training, not cardio training, than a kid who is not fast. Remember I told you that fast humans have more fast twitch muscle fibers than slow twitch? Well, guess which muscles respond to weight training for speed, and track training for speed, better? Yep, fast twitch muscles. So a kid who is fast will almost always be faster than the slower kids, especially if they train together.

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Furthermore, a person who can run fast, can probably jump higher than his peers, and stop and accelerate faster than his peers too. Why? Because people who can run fast can do so because they can generate tremendous amounts of leg velocity and force in a short distance. Generating powerful and rapid leg force is key to jumping high, running quick, and stopping and accelerating on the playing field. So what sports benefit from speed? I will give you a hint: It is not equestrian, NASCAR, or golf. (I know, I know, Tiger Woods is an athlete. Relax.) Off the top of my head, some of the sports that benefit from explosive running capabilities are rugby, soccer, American Football, baseball, lacrosse, and basketball, just to name a few. The 100 meter Olympic sprint is probably the ultimate demonstration of fast twitch leg and butt muscles at work, for men and women alike.

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In tennis, someone with a good amount of fast twitch muscle fibers will be able to run all over the court faster, hence, getting to balls and returning them faster, which slower players cannot. If a tennis player has a good amount of fast twitch muscle fibers in their upper body, they will probably hit the tennis ball harder too, because they can generate more racket velocity. And if one if these players starts to play tennis at a young age, even if they are trained by someone with little training experience if any, you’re in a world of trouble. Hello Serena. She’s blessed with a great body, and trains her ass off too.

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In American football, speed is paramount because you are either chasing someone with a ball in their possession, and they are probably fast as a whippet. Or worse, you might be the one running with the ball, being chased by a bunch of fast and strong dudes who want to tackle you, and concuss you in the process. Below is one such person. That is Brian Urlacher doing the tackling. And yes he is white. Fast humans come in all colors, and he was fast as shit probably his whole life. He played 12 years in the NFL as a middle linebacker. That means he was the one chasing around fast athletes of all colors. What is impressive about Urlacher is that he was big and fast. He was 6’4″, and 260 pounds. Yes, all muscle.

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And guess what good ol Brian Urlacher was in high school? He was fast as a runaway baby with poop in his diapers. Maybe my new test for knowing if your child is going to grow up to run fast is “How fast can your baby run in shitty diapers?” Anyways, back to Urlacher. In high school Urlacher played running back, wide receiver, return specialist, and defensive back. All those positions require speed. That’s how I know he was fast his whole life.

And again, it is not a white vs. black thing. It is true, as I learned in “The Sports Gene”, that the fastest humans on planet earth descend from certain parts of the world. But have you ever seen Wes Welker, a wide receiver in the NFL, play football on a Sunday. Or last night for that matter. I think he scored two touchdowns last night. He is very difficult to catch, and he’s white. This is him below. Wide receivers are very fast because first, they must separate themselves from a fast defender to even catch a ball, and then when they do catch the ball, they must separate themselves, through raw speed, from the all of the opposing team’s players to gain some yards, or score a touchdown.

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Guess what Welker was in high school? Fast has as a whippet. In a championship game in high school Welker scored 3 touchdowns, had over 200 all-purpose yards, got an interception, and even kicked a 47 yard field goal. Damn!

“Ok, ok, Healthy Homeboy, we get it. You have made it clear that kids who can run fast have an innate advantage in certain sports, and you have belittled my genetics and my child’s prospects of getting an athletic scholarship and maybe even going on to the professional ranks” is what you’re probably thinking as a parent. You are right, and you are wrong. If your child is not the fastest or the strongest, he may not excel in explosive sports. But maybe he or she is blessed with slow twitch muscle fibers. And that, my hard-working, take kids to every practice possible parents, would make them excellent endurance athletes.

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That is correct. The opposite of a football player, a soccer player, or a tennis player, just to name a few, is the long distance sports. Maybe when your child gets in high school, they can try track and the longer distance events where endurance, training that endurance, and the will of the athlete to win, is the key to winning events. This “talent transfer” has been used by Australia very effectively to win Olympic medals left and right. They identify fast athletes, strong athletes, endurance athletes, and place them where their bodies will flourish under specific training, and in specific athletic events.

In 1994, Australia took Alisa Camplin and converted her into an aerial skier. Camplin had experience with gymnastics, track and field, but she had never even SEEN snow. The ride was bumpy at first. On her first jump, she broke a rib. On her second jump, she hit a tree. But at the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City she won the gold. She was a great aerialist, but still a bad skier. On her way down the ski mountain to the winner’s press conference, she fell, crushing her victory flowers. Someone who watched her win the gold said that “Even after victory, watching the sparsely experienced Camplin on ski’s was like watching a giraffe on roller skates”. But in the air, she was awesome!

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So, parents of aspiring athletes, this is what I recommend. Let your children play all sports, even the ones they do not excel in. It will teach them team work, work ethic, and that in life, they will not always be the best at everything they do. Then, as they enter high school, see if there is something they played in their youth that they excelled in, but more importantly, enjoyed partaking in. You might have a great swimmer, water polo player, long distance track star, sprinter, cyclist, football player, baseball player, or tennis player under your roof. And once you find what they like and they enjoy doing it, they must practice. For success in any sport, repetition is also very important.

The conclusion of the book was that nature and nurture go hand in hand when it comes to athletic excellence. A person can be born with great athletic potential, but they also have to train that potential, endlessly and vigorously, to become great. There is also some chance, beyond genetics, that is involved in superior athletic performance. Somehow, a great athlete with great potential, has to be exposed to the sport he will most excel in, at some point in his life.

Usain Bolt was born fast, to parents who had the perfect gene combination to make Usain tall, 6’5″,  lean at 190 pounds, and explosive with the perfect muscle make up. But what if he wasn’t born in a country, Jamaica, where sprinting is a national pastime? If Bolt, perfect name for a sprinter by the way, was born in the US, he could have played football, baseball, basketball, or said “forget this physical stuff, I am going to excel in academics”. Bolt was born with the perfect body for sprinting, in a country that loves sprinting and nurtures sprinters, he was exposed to it in his teens, and he enjoyed it.

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Children, play everything. And parents, encourage them.

One For The Marines

Hello everyone. I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend and got your dipsomania and gluttony out of the way. At least until Halloween and then the Holidays, which will be here before you can say Whatchamacallit. Speaking of candy bars, I had a Snickers bar this past Sunday. It was delicious. My wife and I were on our way to visit a friend who found me on Cara Libro (FaceBook), and I got hungry on our drive. I didn’t want to stop and have a full meal so I had a Snickers.

My friend who found me on Cara Libro is a prior Marine I served with in the early 1990’s. He was 2 years my senior in the Marines. He served in Operation Desert Storm. I served in Operation Restore Hope in Somalia. This is a picture of us in 1994 in Alaska, I believe. My friend Klebart, who found me on FB is the Marine on the left. The one with the cheesy smile in the center is me, and the one to the right is Freeman. By the way, Freeman had the reddest hair I had ever seen on a human, up to that point in my life. Andy Dalton is a red-head quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals and his nickname is “the red rifle”. Sorry Andy, Freeman from Bridge Company in the early 90’s, is the original Red Rifle.

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Below, is the original Red Rifle, Freeman, schooling me on some proper M-16 shooting techniques.

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And below, is a picture of me and my good friend Klebart, almost 20 years later.

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I will be honest, seeing my good friend brought back many memories, all of them good.

I am a bit of a thinker, especially before I blog or write. I thought about the Marines, and my experiences for those four years. The military taught me about life. I came to the following conclusion: It did not matter where you were from in the country, your socio-economic background, your religious and political affiliations, your prejudices, or what you looked like. When you were in the Marines, differences were set aside for the betterment of the platoon and for the  accomplishment of daily duties and any missions we were ordered to take on and execute. Maybe our politicians can learn from The United States Marines.

Just look at the variety of Marines in the picture below. The picture was taken in Alaska in 1994.

Let’s start at the far right. That is Trujillo, I believe he was from Arizona. Next to him is Klebart, he’s the one that found me on FB. He is half German and half Thai. Next to Klebart is Chambers. He was from Southern California. Chambers was our real life Jim Carrey, and kept us entertained. The Marine in the very front, with his arm extended is Mifflin. He is from Australia and he is still in the Marines. Wow! He must have a bunch of ribbons and medals on his Dress Blues by now. Behind Mifflin, that is yours truly, Vargas, many years before I would become “Healthy Homeboy”. Next to Mifflin is “The Red Rifle”, Freeman. I think he was from Washington. I forget the Marines name behind Freeman, but I do remember he was a hard-working Devil Dog. I also do not remember the Marine’s name to the far left, but I do remember he was from Michigan.

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If all the young men above, from different walks of life, can be put together, with weapons and training, and like we say in the Marines “get shit done”, how come our politicians can’t?

This is not about Demorats or Republi-crazies. (I have recently found out that is what they call each other, among other things). This is about American politicians putting differences aside and getting things done for the betterment of the country and its people, young and old. Isn’t that what we all want?

I hear and read the complaints and demands. “This country is going down the toilet. There’s too many guns in America. They are going to take our guns, so I am going to buy as many as I can. Damn Mexicans are everywhere! Damn illegals! Jose the illegal doesn’t pay taxes and gets all the benefits. No! Help the illegals. Hell no, don’t help the illegals. Put up a big ass electric fence between Mexico and the USA. Gay marriage is evil. Gay marriage is a right. I hate that there’s a black guy in the White House. What’s next, a Latina President?”

The rants and complaints go on and on. This country gives us that right. Anyone can be a keyboard gangster. A keyboard gangster is someone who talks trash and even threatens folks from a safe distance and behind a computer, but rarely in person. But what good does it do to complain from your computer to others on their computers? Complaining to others who have your beliefs gets nothing done. You must voice your opinion to those who are in charge, our elected officials. For me, complaining has never improved what I am complaining about. Complaining begets complaining.

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I have gone on Facebook and looked at other Marine’s FB pages. Some love guns, some are laid back, some gained weight, some stayed in shape, some have kids in the military, some have no kids, some hate the black guy in the white house, and some hate “Jose illegal”.

When I recently read a post some of my prior Marines had posted and shared with each other, complaining about Jose illegal, I will admit that I was a bit offended at first. How could I not be? My father came to this country illegally, from Mexico, in the trunk of a car in the late 1960’s, and he was only 16 years old at the time. But he was not Jose illegal, his first name is Juan, making him Juan illegal.

I was born in Los Angeles a few years after my father arrived in this country. A few years after my birth, my father and mother became US citizens. And don’t worry America, and my brothers from the Marines, we did not rob this country of its precious resources. We were, and are productive members of society. My mother and father worked very hard and always paid their taxes. My mother is in heaven now. My father works as a waiter and his 4 adult children are doing ok for themselves. My brother and I served in the US Marines. I have a weight loss business now, and I want to be a writer. My brother is an industrial plumber. One of my sisters is a registered dietician who specializes in diabetes and my other sister is an engineer. Not bad dad.

I want all my Marine brothers that I served with to know that I respect your ideas and beliefs, even if I don’t agree with them, and I hope you return the mature favor. That is part of what makes this country great. Freedom of speech and expression is the shit! Another thing that makes this country great is its variety of people. We are a nation of immigrants. Just look at the picture above from the Marines. We had different skin tones, different hair textures and colors, and some of us even spoke Spanish. But so what! We had each others back, front, side bottom, and everything in between. We would have killed for each other, even if we didn’t like each other. That is special to me and trumps all differences.

I know I broke my vow to not blog politics, sorry. I just want our elected leaders of all parties to look at those young faces above and realize that those are the faces you send to war, and we go with pride and honor. Our military young boys and girls serve and work together, no matter where they are from, and what they believe. There is one glaring difference though between politics and the Marines. In politics, if you are incompetent, you may lose your reputation and job. But in the Marines, in certain situations, if you are incompetent, you may lose a limb, or even worse, your life.

To all high-ranking elected officials who never served our nations military, please remember what our troops risk when you strategically place us here and there throughout the world, like disposable pieces on a chess board. Also, stop bickering and learn to coexist and progress with each other like our troops do now, and like Bridge Company from Camp Pendleton, California did in the early 90’s.

I will try to end this post on a positive note. That is Healthy Homeboy below being not so healthy, but keeping our sanity in Fairbanks, Alaska, in 1994. The sun rarely went down when we were there, so on a few occasions we dozed off with Budweiser and Chips Ahoy in our systems.

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But because we were young and in ridiculous shape back then, we woke up looking like this. Ready to kick ass and take names!

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