Hello everyone. Are you getting ready for the big weekend? Will you attend a BBQ? If you do, I hope you eat everything you enjoy. Go ahead, eat hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, have soda (diet of course), and have some mixed adult drinks if you like. Yes, that is correct. I said “DRINK UP”.
Remember, I have a love-hate relationship with alcohol. I love how it makes my brain feel, but hate what it does to my body. Is that just me? When I do drink, I prefer liquor mixed with water, and some tiny chunks of frozen water.
Today I want to talk to you about the power of walking half an hour a day at a 3mph pace. What did you think, that I was just going to give you the green light for “Labor Day Gluttony” and dipsomania? I am a weight loss friend, coach, and homie, remember?
Time for some math. DON’T PANIC! This is simple math and does not involve variables and exponents. And you definitely do not have to solve for X.
If you walk for half an hour, at a 3 mph pace, you will burn about 150 calories. If you do that everyday for a year, you will burn, 150 x 365 days in a year = 54,750 calories burned. If you divide 54,750 calories by the 3,500 calories in 1 pound of fat, you get 15.6 pounds. That is correct. If you changed nothing else in your life, and just started walking half an hour a day at 3 mph, or 1 and a half miles total, you would lose about 15 pounds in one year! Don’t forget, a year goes by pretty quick. It’s already going to be September.
I know what you’re thinking. “Hector, I mean, Healthy Homeboy, I can’t walk EVERY DAY for 1 year. I need some time off, like weekends and stuff”. Ok, I will bargain with you. How about if you walk half an hour, for only 300 days out of the year? You will lose about 12 pounds! Sounds great to me.
Remember, there are 52 weekends in a year. If you don’t Move Your Ass, M.Y.A., on weekends, you will only be moving about 265 days out of the year. If you don’t move Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, which, by the way, is somehow now considered the weekend for folks, you will only be moving (365 minus the 156 days total of days in 3 day weekends in a year) = 209 days. Yes, if you only move 4 days a week, you will only move about 209 days out of the year. Throw in some holidays, sick days, hangovers, lazy days, must watch TV, and before you know it, you’re only moving about 150 days a year, which is less than HALF a year. The moral of the math is mueve tus nalgas todos los dias. And yes, this blog can be in English, Spanish, or to really confuse the hell out of single language speakers, SPANGLEEEESH. I checked with Obama. He said because I served in the US Marines, and Marines protect his family, I can blog in two languages. But I think that El Presidente said it’s OK for me to blog in Spanish, occasionally, because the Latino Vote helped him successfully defend his title of El President. Sorry Mitt. (On a side note. Mitt Romney’s father was born in Mexico. I’m serious. Look it up. I mean Google it).
Speaking of our Prez and the Spanish language. When I talked to “O”, that’s what I call our Presidente sometimes, I informed him that Malia, his daughter’s name is pronounced just like malilla in Spanish. Barack was a bit disappointed to find out that malilla in Spanish means: a person full of wickedness and malice. Yikes! We all make bad choices sometimes, even in naming our children.
In his disappointment, he blamed the daughter naming blunder on Michelle. He also said to me “I knew we should have named Malia, Lela instead”. I said “Oh hell no Mr. Prez! I know Lela is a popular name with English speakers, but Lela in Spanish means: stupid, ignorant and crazy.” So if your name is Lela, do not travel to Central and South America, Spain, and East L.A. People might look at you funny when you introduce yourself.
Then the Prez got peeved and tried to get even. He said “What’s your mothers name Hector?” I said “Rosa”. He was like “Damn, that’s a nice name, and means rose in English. Nothing wrong there”. Then his Harvard education kicked in, in the name of defense of his family. He said “Do you know what your name, Hector, means in English” I said “Yes, it means bad motherfucker”. I said it with a smile. The Prez laughed and asked “Seriously bro, do you know what your name means in English”. I said and nodded side to side “No”. He said “Hector in English means to boss around or verbally bully someone”. I said “Damn Prez, you got me there. That’s a good one”. Then I said “Sounds like your name should have been Hector Obama, as much as you tell people what to do”. The Prez laughed and I proceeded to cut his lawn because he ordered me to. He is so damn bossy, except with Michelle.
Then I trained Michelle. I had her do push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and all sorts of crazy stuff. She’s in pretty good shape.