Is Gluten-Free for You?

Knock-knock. Who’s there? Your ex. Your ex who? Your exercise and weight loss coach. (That would be me).

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Knock-knock. Who’s there? Glue. Glue who? Gluten free diet.

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Someone recently asked about gluten-free products and their weight loss effectiveness. First, let me try to explain how the whole gluten-free revolution came about.

People were eating wheat, and some developed stomach issues so they went to the doctor. A brilliant doctor somewhere thought “Hmmm, instead of me just giving this patient of mine with inflammation in their small intestine medicine, maybe, just maybe, their stomach issues are related to something they eat and we should try to figure that out too”. Brilliant idea by the way.

Researchers focused on wheat. And what do you know, some people can’t digest gluten. Gluten is a protein in wheat. And not only can they not digest gluten, their small intestine gets inflamed in the process. They named the gluten causing problem “Celiac Disease”.

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Next, people eliminated all products that contain wheat because stomach aches effing suck. On a side note, if you have friends or acquaintances that cause stomach aches or emotional aches, eliminate their asses too. Back to the story. Some of these people lost weight because in the process of eliminating wheat and other products that could possibly contain wheat, they were eliminating many flour products and calories. Keep in mind, this was before gluten-free flour products were readily available like they are today. So once enough people lost weight because they eliminated gluten, the “gluten-free diet” for weight loss was born.

People did the new fad diet, and some lost weight. And where there is a new “niche market” consumer, there is new dinero to be made, and gluten-free became readily available. CHA-CHING! Most health food companies are in it for the dollars. “It’s all about the Benjamins baby!”

I many times have heard people refer to money as “Dead Presidents”. There is one problem with that reference. Although some presidents are the face of some of our American currency, Benjamin Franklin was not a U.S. President, but he is dead. He was a founding father, among other things. So from now on say “I’m trying to stack my founding fathers” or “It’s all about the founding fathers baby”.

Stack Of Cash

Here’s the problem with the gluten-free revolution. Some gluten-free products are made with saturated fats, sugar, white rice flour, and potato starch to make them taste good. That great taste comes at a price: Gluten free products that are full of carbs and calories. So an ill-informed person goes on a gluten-free diet and he or she does not lose weight because now they are consuming as many calories as before, or if not, more by consuming gluten-free products. Yikes!

Unless you are the true 1% of the population who has celiac disease, you do not have to eliminate wheat from your diet. When I ask people to eliminate flour products from their diet to aid in weight loss it’s because many people get their flour from burgers, pizza, cookies, bowls of pasta that an NFL lineman would have trouble finishing, and pastries. A slice of bread is not going to make someone eff-aye-tee. But most people can’t have just one slice of bread, just like I can’t have only one slice of pizza.

If you are not allergic to wheat, the next time someone tries to convince you that eliminating wheat completely from your diet is good for you, make this face.

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The above picture also works in other situations. I use it when I am bored. Or when I see adults driving that are obviously angry, white knuckling their steering wheel, I get their attention and make this face. Sometimes they get mad, but one time I made a lady laugh. Some people are ass tight, all business at all times. I am all monkey business. Making the face above lowers blood pressure too. I learned that at UOL.

I’m hungry, time to climb a tree, eat a banana, and take a nap.

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