Random Thoughts on Food and Exercise

Have you every woke up with a racing brain? Muy rapido. Of course you have. That’s why many of you couldn’t sleep last night, because of the racing, jumpy, thinking of this and that, for no apparent reason, brain. In honor of Monkey Brain that jumps from branch to branch and accomplishes nothing but noise, I will blog from thought to random thought, and we must KISS. No, not this KISS…

Minnie_kissing_mickey

or this kiss…

kids kissing

I am talking about Keeping It Simple…Silly. Now get your head out of the gutter. Well, thinking about kissing isn’t exactly gutter thoughts, but they might be gateway thoughts to gutter thoughts.

Ok, thought numero uno.

When I exercise, and I see people walking and exercising  with a not so sugar-free energy drink like Red Bull in their hand as they exercise, or any other drink that clever advertisers have convinced us we need to re-hydrate and replace electrolytes, yeah right, it bothers me more than driving texters wearing dark sunglasses. DO NOT DRINK CALORIES WHILE YOU EXERCISE IF YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. Please drink water. And do not text and drive. And if the sun has gone down, take your shades off.

Benefits_drinking_water

If you walk a mile and drink a super charged, neon colored, electrolyte filled, vitamin laden, energy enhancing drink that your favorite athlete is being paid millions to swear he or she drinks, and that drink has 150 calories, guess what happened during your mile walk? You simply drank the calories you were trying to burn during your walk. More water benefits below.

water-man

Next thought. Do steroids work? Hello! McFly, of course they do. Why do you think professional athletes use them, risking careers and reputations? Average folks use them too, like exhibit A below.

before and after cycle

I believe I read that dude above  accomplished his body transformation in a 3 month cycle of Anabolic Steroids! The above transformation, without roids, would take about 1 year to complete, at least.

tony on roids

Tony, in the picture above, definitely used something for his transformation, and so did tough guy below. By the way, I got these pictures off websites where dudes brag about what they accomplished with this and that stack. A stack, in the weight lifting world, is a combination of supplements and hormones (roids) that a person uses to gain muscles and burn fat.

before-and-after-bodybuilder-steroids-pictures-pics

Women use steroids too.

female-bodybuilder

Yes, she’s a woman, and so is the specimen below.

Women-and-Weights-005

Ok, next thought. If someone asked me, well they actually do all the time, what are the best exercises for building strength? Let’s start with the upper body, and you don’t need equipment for this one. Push-ups are a great upper body builder. Below, some of my Marine Corps brothers doing Marine push-ups. Do not try this at home.

marine push ups

The next exercise for building upper body strength is the pull-up, also a Marine favorite. That is Healthy Homeboy below, and a former Marine.

DSC_0843

Front view now, so you don’t think I just took a picture of a guy who was doing pull-ups  at a local park and just happened to be wearing sneakers, shorts, and an L.A. Dodger hat, just like mine. These two pictures of me are about a month old. I guess the saying “Once a Marine, always a Marine” is true, except for the machine guns, tanks, and blowing shit up part. I gave that up a long time ago. My great aim and perfect vision are available upon demand or request.

DSC_0830

Now, for the lower body. Nothing comes close to the squat for strengthening and building legs.

Squats.svg

Now ladies, do not be afraid of squats. Don’t worry, you won’t build incredibly muscular legs, but you might build  a butt that looks like the one on the right.

squat-not-squat

Below is a diagram of muscles worked during squats for men and women.

squats

Next thought. If you are trying to lose weight, under no circumstances should you ever go to a buffet. Yes, even if you’re starving. Because guess what, you probably aren’t. Starving definitions: to die or perish from lack of food or nourishment. To be in the process of perishing or suffering severely from hunger. To suffer from extreme poverty and need.

SONY DSC

If after reading the definitions for “starving”, you decide that you are starving, go ahead and go to a buffet, eat as much as you can, and stuff your pockets with as much food as possible because they don’t allow take home boxes.

And for my final thought. In fairness, I will turn the looking-glass towards me. Since you read my blog, thank you, and I am always telling you what to do for fitness and weight loss, let’s look at what I eat and drink that is good and not so good.

I drink water with almost everything I eat, and I have no idea how much water I drink, so don’t ask. I drink about 1 glass of milk a day. I love chips ahoy cookies and for that reason I don’t keep them in the house. I have never used roids, and if you think I do because at 41 years of age I have a decent looking body, get a life, LOSER! I workout with weights about 3 times per week, mostly Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I rarely, if ever, do ab exercises, sorry. I love bacon cheeseburgers, sweet potato fries, and ice cream, and have many times ate them all in the same day. I eat red meat about 3 times per week. I love sushi. I eat eggs everyday scrambled in butter. Don’t worry, my cholesterol levels are fine. I just had a physical. Most of my carbohydrates come from brown rice, fruits, and oatmeal. I don’t eat much flour products like pasta, bread, pizza, etc. I am 5’11’. In the Marines I weighed about 185. Today I weigh 183. So much for the slow down of my metabolism. What slows down is activity levels and the ability to recover from exercise as we age, more than anything. When I indulge in adult drinks, tequila or vodka is my preference. Beer makes me burp. When I go to those frozen yogurt establishments that seemed to have popped up EVERYWHERE, I get the small container, that looks like a large to me, and half fill it with vanilla and Oreo flavored frozen yogurt, YO! As toppings for my yogurt I use yogurt covered pretzels, chips ahoy cookies, and pound cake. I don’t have a desk job, and that helps me stay lean. I don’t count calories. The mirror tells me if I am eating too much of this or that. And remember, if you are having a difficult time getting through to someone about something that seems so simple and easy to you, but not so much for the person you are trying to enlighten, just K.I.S.S. And if you really like the person, aren’t in a serious relationship with someone else, and K.I.S.S. didn’t work, pop a Tic-Tac and give them a big ole smackaroo on the lips and tell them how much they mean to you.

a.baa-Big-kiss-between-poddy-and-c

Please tell me how the kiss worked out.

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