How to Make any Woman Smile, Even the Grouchy Ones.

Currently, I am reading “Van Gogh: The Life”. I must say, it is a pretty thick book. Well, I really don’t know how thick it is because I downloaded it on my Kindle, but the little percentage symbol at the bottom that lets the reader know how much of the book has been read sure is moving slowly. It sits at about 17% right now.

Van-Gogh-Self-Portrait

Vincent Van Gogh did most things in his life at a frenetic pace. He had a frantic mind. He read fast, walked fast, and drew and painted even faster. In about 10 years time of his adulthood, he created 860 oil paintings and 1300 watercolors, drawings, sketches and prints. In the art world, that’s mucho trabajo en poquito tiempo.

Vicente, as I know him, was an introverted child that liked to take long solitary walks in the woods. Much to his sisters dismay, he collected beatles and other bugs, took them home and categorized them. He had an infatuation with nature that would stay with him throughout his life and is reflected in his art. I am not an art expert, but even I can make that observation. Here, you be the judge.

starry-night

Starry Night

vangogh81

Dude on a Canoe (I named it that)

Van-Gogh-Paintings-10

Bridge and Water (I named it that too)

Vincent’s mother, Anna Cornelia Carbentus Van Gogh, taught her children to appreciate nature, especially Spring. She planted gardens in their yard and all the children learned names of different flowers and how to best cultivate them. One of the things Anna taught the Van Gogh children was that the best gifts are hand-made, and I agree.

Anyone can save a few bucks and take a woman to dinner. Anyone can save a few bucks and buy a woman a purse, earings, or any other material object. Anyone can save up and send a woman on a great spa day. These gifts are great, but there is a much more economical way to make a woman smile with gratitude. I guarantee she will save the gift I am about to show you how to make, forever, and forever is a long time. Forever is such a long of a time that it is neighbors with infinity.

First you need some materials. A piece of blank paper of any color and some markers will suffice.

papers and markers

Now fold the paper in half, so it looks like one of those Hallmark cards you buy at the last minute when you remember that you forgot some special occasion. Next, you express yourself on the inside of the card. Go ahead, spill your guts. Let the kind emotions flow. It doesn’t matter how good your penmanship or penwomanship is. What matters is the effort, and women love effort. Here, it can look something like this.

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Here’s another example

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If you are not sure what to write, kind honesty seems to always work great. If she’s a great cook, tell her that. If she’s a good friend, tell her that. If she’s a great dresser, tell her that. If she’s a great mother, definitely tell her that. Women love the expression of true, kind, and loving feelings. And they can detect bull s*#t a mile away, so don’t B.S. them.

You’re still stuck on what to say huh? Don’t worry, that is called writer’s block. For many men it is called “Expression Block”. That’s why many women drag their husbands away from their “man-caves” to marriage counseling, so their men could “express” themselves. Some men have a difficult time communicating their feelings unless they have a few adult drinks. Guess what men? This isn’t marriage counseling. You can have a few drinks before you make the card. Do whatever it takes. The woman you give this card to will be very appreciative of it, even if you were in a drunken stupor when you created it.

mixed drinks

Ok  married men, you are now probably buzzing, and that is fine because now you have to draw. I know, art sucks, but this is for a special woman in your vida. Remember you folded the paper, made it into a card, and wrote nice mushy stuff on the inside? That was only half the job. Now you must draw something, anything, on the outside of it. You’re stuck again? If you must, go ahead and have another drink, make it a double, while I give you some ideas. This card you are making is so powerful that it might keep you out of marriage counseling and in your man-cave, tool shed, garage, on the golf course, or any other place that makes you happy.

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Above, is a plain heart and the sun. It’s simple, and any woman will love it, especially if you can’t draw because she knows it took effort for you to make it. And what do women love gentlemen?…That is correct, effort. Here’s something else you can draw…

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It looks like a flower or something, but who cares what it is. She will LOVE the effort!! Go ahead, draw something, anything, on the front of the card. You can even draw a happy face. SHE WILL LOVE IT, and you, even more for making it.

If you’re a married man and you are a provider, you might be thinking “I already do so much. I work, I provide, I’m loyal, and she knows I love her”. You are correct. But this is not about you and what you do; this is about her. This is about putting a smile on your wife’s face and bringing gratitude to her soul through your effort and honesty. Women love to be reminded that they have not been forgotten. Read that again.

This is not just for husbands out there. This is for sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, and everyone who has a woman in their life that is special, and would like to communicate that to them in a non monetary way. Making a card for that special someone works. I speak from experience.

I have given my wife many gifts throughout our time together. Some gifts I had to save up for months for, and others, not so much. But guess what gift I gave her one day that she truly values years later? You guessed it, a hand-made Birthday card with my emotions spilled on the inside of it. How do I know? She tells me so. Here is the outside of it. The inside is between me, her, and a folded piece of paper.

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Mother’s Day is this weekend and the art stores are stuffed with different color markers and paper. Any and all mothers will love a hand-made card with decorations on the outside and real emotions on the inside. I will let you in on a little secret. Women love these cards because they see themselves in them. They accessorize and decorate themselves on the outside, and are full of emotions on the inside, just like the cards.

You will score major cool points by handing a woman you care for a hand-made card. You can thank me later with a hand-made card telling me how awesome my idea was.

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