Do you have stomach issues? More specifically, do you suffer from constipation? Is your constipation so bad, you can read an entire novel while sitting on the john, and you excrete nothing but compressed pebbles, if that? If the pebbles were any more compressed, they would be diamonds. The diamonds would be of shitty quality, of course.
Don’t you worry, and stop pushing so hard, you’re getting nowhere. I have something that is cheap, it provides protein, carbohydrates, and relief. It’s a great two in one deal. Besides its great nutrient balance, it will work wonders for your #2.
I present to you, my messed up stomach homies, Campbell’s Chicken Alphabet Soup. The chicken provides protein. But more importantly for you, the alphabet will help your vowel movements! haha