M.Y.A.

The following is just opinion. It is not intended to diagnose, cure, blah, blah, blah….I hope you know that Healthy Homeboy doesn’t cure people. If I did, I would be rich. I just help people get in better shape and try to tell entertaining stories along the way.

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Today’s recommended workout is M.YA. It is a simple workout that you can do almost anywhere and you should do for the rest of your life. It doesn’t require pre-workout motivation, supplements, or hype up. You” just do it.” Hey Nike, I better get a check for that plug. M.Y.A. works. It has been around since the beginning of time. Well, I don’t know that for sure, but I am sure M.YA. has been around for a long time. How do I know? My grandmother told me so. She even did M.Y.A. as a child.

I will tell you what M.Y.A. is shortly, but I need your commitment first, especially if you are on a weight loss plan. Are you committed? I need you to promise me, and more importantly yourself, that once you know what M.Y.A. is, you will participate and spread the palabra. On a scale of 1-10, I need your commitment level to be at a 10 for this one. M.Y.A works best when commitment levels to it are high, like Ray Lewis winning the Super Bowl commitment high. Go look in the mirror and say “I am committed to M.Y.A. at a level of 10. Healthy Homeboy has nothing but good intentions regarding my health and fitness and I trust him. He is my homie.”  I am serious, go do it.

Ok, now that I have your commitment, it is time for you to know what you just blindly committed to. Don’t feel bad, I once blindly committed to a 4 year program. It was called the Marines. Go ahead and exhale now. This is nothing like the Marines. It does not require machine-guns, gas masks, grenades, or sleeping in jungles and eating crappy food. If you quit or even fail, which I doubt, you will not be dis-honorably discharged from my program. I will continue to help you, after I scold you of course.

Here it is. The most important release of information since the Zapruder film. Just kidding, but I would like to think what I am about to bless the world with is important. M.Y.A. stands for “Move Your Ass!” That is correct. If you want to lose weight, get in shape, or stay in shape, you must Move Your Ass. It even works in Spanish. Mueve Tus Nalgas!

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“Healthy Homeboy, can you be more specific? How do I move my ass?” You are probably thinking, or you’re probably thinking “This fools crazy.” Either way, I have your attention. So away we go with M.Y.A.

Exercise class at Covenant. (A-J Photo/Joe Don Buckner)

There are endless ways to move your ass, as even dormant asses already know. You can ride a bike, walk, jog, run, swim, or dance. You can play a sport with friends, or just shoot some hoops at the local park by yourself. Just do something, and preferably not the Wii. I want real movement that doesn’t involve electronics other than headphones for some musica.  Humans are built to move.  Just look at how many muscles are in your legs, from the hips on down. We have a lot of leg muscles, and they are large and strong, so use them por favor.

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How much M.Y.A should you do? People don’t like to hear the following answer, and once they do, they think “that sucks.”  YOU MUST MOVE AT LEAST AN HOUR A DAY, FIVE DAYS A WEEK. I know, it sounds like a lot, because it is. Think about it this way, even children are asked to move an hour a day. The NFL has a program that encourages children to move 60 minutes a day. I think it is called “Play 60”. Adults need to move too. My plan is for adults and children alike. It is called “M.Y.A. 60.” In case you haven’t noticed, we not only have an epidemic of kids playing/moving less and less, but adults move less and less everyday too.

I have some rules for M.Y.A. The first rule is that you cannot count what you do in everyday life as movement, unless you have a job that demands movement like construction workers, house keepers/cleaners, personal trainers, landscapers, professional athletes, etc. So for example, if you park a few spaces further away than normal at work or at the mall causing you to walk a bit more than usual, that is called life, and not exercise. If you go to the mall and walk around shopping and maybe have a snack or meal, that is also called life. I know it feels like exercise and you are moving, but you are just living and doing what humans have always done, which is move. I want you to move more. M.Y.A. is “in addition to”  your regular movement. Oh, before I forget, taking the stairs at work only counts if it is at least 10 flights up, and you take it up to work and back down, every day. Sorry, just trying to help you lose weight.

My second rule is that you should try to do your M.Y.A. outdoors as much as possible. Get some fresh air in your body. Oxygen is good for you. Fresh air and movement helps headaches, back aches, depression, stomach issues, joint stiffness, and a  bunch of other ailments. The crazy part about all the ailments I just mentioned is that statistically you probably have one of them, if not more. Don’t feel bad. Prilosec, Advil, Tylenol PM, Pepto-Bismol and Bengay sell because of its demand, and not for “in case of.”  Here is some disclosure for you. I get migraines and muscle stiffness sometimes, and guess what, movement helps. It helps most when it is warm outside, and I break a sweat.

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Clean, outdoors, not in front of the TV or computer oxygen is the best. Dr. Oz hasn’t talked about it yet because big business hasn’t figured out how to beautifully package oxygen and sell it for big bucks. Don’t laugh, water has already traveled the capitalistic path from free to expensive that oxygen might travel someday. Every time I pay a dollar or so for 16 ounces of water, I do the math and realize that a gallon of water, 128 ounces, would cost me about 8 dollars. Ouch!! That’s almost twice as expensive as gas. Seven Eleven must be making a killing. No wonder they are always open. Dang, I remember when we use to drink water out of water fountains and water hoses, or was that just me. Next up for sale, Oxygen by Pepsi. So start walking outside before they charge for oxygen. Organic, grass-fed oxygen will of course be the best and most expensive.

And now, a reality check. There is no app for exercise and proper eating. Sure, there are apps to help you track what you eat, drink, and how much you move, but you still have to do it. You must have Marine like discipline. No app can do it for you, but I am sure they are working on it. You have to M.Y.A. on your own. You have to say goodbye to sugar drinks and drink water. You have to say no to dessert. You have to commit to movement. Weight loss is entirely on you.

And now, some good news. If you are trying to lose weight and you start moving 5 hours per week and drinking mostly water with your meals, you will lose weight. How much will you lose? That, my amigos and amigas, I do not know, but it will come off. Weight loss is like long-term investing.  It will not happen overnight, and you will have peaks and valleys, but in the long run, you will succeed.

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